Tuesday, April 8, 2008

It's Complicated

Everyone has different talents. I have mentioned that Corban has a "talent" for destruction, I have a talent for making everything more complicated than it needs to be. So I was thinking that I ought to put that talent to good use. I am not exactly sure how to go about it, but I want to be one of those people you see on infomercials that make really simple tasks look insanely difficult and tedious. I really think I could do good at that, it seems easy. You have to mess your hair up and look exasperated (that is me everyday anyways). I could be the lady that chops stuff with a dull knife and makes it look really hard then the knife could slip or I could strain a muscle, there are so many ways to do it. Or the one doing "old-fashion" sit ups and throw my back out. I could sell these amazing new products that will make you wonder how you have managed to live without them all these years.

Like this Meatball Magic for those of you who find it difficult to to shape a meatball. I guess they forgot to mention that instead of washing just your hands and the mixing bowl, now you will have to wash your hands, the mixing bowl and this product which I am sure does not have many tiny cracks and crevices for raw meat to stick into.



And who could forget that miraculous Flowbee. Oh the difficulty of the home haircut, getting the length right, and that mess , well Flowbee to the rescue.






Now this product is an amazing weight loss product called Aroma-Trim, apparently when you feel hungry or the urge to eat compulsively you whip out the Aroma-Trim. It is a convenient little cartridge that smells like vomit, to repulse you into not eating! Wouldn't it just be easier to come to my house for the real thing. Unfortunately it is no longer available in the US, I can't imagine why not.

I can make you believe that the way to simplify your life is by buying more stuff. I guess difficulty just comes easy to me.

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

What's really disturbing is that the woman in the Aroma-Trim ad looks more like she's sniffing a Glade air-freshener than condensed vomit. And she's dressed for an elegant night out (guess she's preparing to resist the buffet). But we can't forget the one invention that promised to make our lives so much easier, less stressful, and would usher in the 3-day work week as a result of our new-found efficiency. . . .the computer!

-Jen

Chris said...

Okay...did I miss something here? What's wrong with the Flowbee? I've been using it for years!

On a side note, (warning this somewhat crude). Q. Did you ever wonder why the started selling plastic vomit?

A. Because the plastic poo sold so well! No kidding.