Happy Holidays

I have always loved obscure holidays. I try to check pretty often what holiday it is so I don't miss anything. Unfortunately I just missed National Shrimp Scampi Day. Yes, it was yesterday, April 29, and I did nothing to celebrate it. But it is okay to miss some holidays, because really every day is a holiday. Today is National Honesty Day. It is pretty sad that one would need a holiday as an excuse to be honest.
Just so you do not miss anything here are some more upcoming events:
May 2: International Tuba Day (I guess if you do not own a tuba you could listen to tuba music to celebrate. Seriously an international holiday for the tuba?)

May 3: Lumpy Rug Day (I do not know whether you would try to get lumps out of your rugs, or make your rugs more lumpy for this day)

May 4: National Candied Orange Peel Day (yummmmmm)

May 5: If you do not wish to celebrate Cinco De Mayo you can celebrate National Oyster Day (or make oyster tacos and kill 2 birds with one stone)

May 6: No Diet Day (which I really celebrate every day)

May 8: Iris Day (I put that one in for my niece Iris)

So that gets you through the next week. You should probably take a few days off after all that, to prepare for Mothers Day. Maybe this year instead of celebrating my birthday, I can just celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day!

Jekyll and Hyde

I suppose I should have known better. It was 5:00pm the kids were hungry and tired, but I had to go to Kroger. It was one of those days when I did not even think about dinner until 5:00. I looked around and realised I had nothing for dinner. So I decided to go to the store, as did the rest of Botetourt county. I know that is the absolute worst time to go to the grocery store, but there was no getting around it.

I believe that when they build grocery stores (and pretty much any retail establishment) they spray the foundation and the walls with child-good-behavior repellent. There is just something about shopping that turns normal fairly well behaved children into raving lunatics. I think the grocery store is the worst. When you start, they beg for the kind of basket that they can both sit in. But I know better than to let them sit that close together; there will inevitably be crying and fighting. I can't let the little one sit in the little part and the other in the big part, because it leaves no room for groceries. I usually end up letting Calvin "walk" making Corban sit in the little seat, but then Corban thinks there is a great injustice because he does not get to "walk". So, I have unhappy baby #1 in the seat crying and unhappy child #2, screaming like a banshee up and down the aisles. Of course Calvin "asks" for every single item he sees, even though I know he doesn't want them or even like them, without a remote possibility that he would consume them once brought home: "Pleeeeaaaase can we get Brussels sprouts, that's my favorite" or, "I promise I will eat those sardines, I promise pleeeeeease can we buy that."

I usually end up forgetting half of what is on my list, even though I am looking right at the paper, and come home with something I had no intention of buying like those "chocolate frosted sugar bombs." There has to be an easier way. Right???

Misspellers Of The World Untie

I came across this sign while driving and I had to stop and take a picture. There were at least 3 of these along the road. I was quite intrigued. Zach and I tried to decide whether the yard they were selling from was bizarre, or the content of the sale was bizarre. I did not go to the sale to find out, but I am sure it would have been interesting. They will most likely fire their sign maker.
But that sign got me thinking about how I have an extreme hatred of intentional misspelling of words to look cool. I will boycott any product or store that uses those. I will not let my kids participate in any activity that calls itself a "kids klub" or "kids krew" or uses "kidz" in either of those instances. It very nearly makes me violent. I once even saw a sign for a store called "Klassy Kloset". If that is not one of the least classy things I have ever seen, I don't know what is. I know there are people who have a hard time with spelling, and that is okay, But adults who knowingly misspell and think its "klever" are I think, "mizlead." It hurts me to even type that in a joking way. When your 5 year old writes you a note that says " I luv you", that is cute, but past that, it isn't cute, or funny, or classy, or clever.
Really, adults ought to know better!

Times A Wastin

I have been thinking lately about how time passes. Can you remember when you were a kid and a month was a really long time? Remember how long it took to get from one Christmas to the next? It was almost an eternity when I was a kid. Now as soon January rolls around I feel like I need to get started on next Christmas! Where is that exact moment in life when time switches from moving so slowly, to moving at ludicrous speed? I wonder if that moment is different for everybody. Is it when you turn 18? Or when you go away to college? Perhaps there is some major life change or event around that time that changes your perspective.
In my own life it seems like one day I was counting down the days until high school graduation; then I blinked, and it was 5 years later. I guess I had about 4 major life changes kind of all at once: I turned 18, got married, moved out of state and started a full-time job all within 3 months. It seemed like it was kind of a blur. Maybe that kick-started that new perspective on time.
I still count down the days until events like Christmas, but for much different reasons. Now I do it to remind me of how behind I am! It seems like all I do is play catch-up while the months and years slip by. I keep telling myself that "I am sure next month things will be less busy", and I tell myself that EVERY month and it never happens. But maybe next year won't be so busy.
Oh well, I guess I will just go get started on my Christmas cards.

It's Complicated

Everyone has different talents. I have mentioned that Corban has a "talent" for destruction, I have a talent for making everything more complicated than it needs to be. So I was thinking that I ought to put that talent to good use. I am not exactly sure how to go about it, but I want to be one of those people you see on infomercials that make really simple tasks look insanely difficult and tedious. I really think I could do good at that, it seems easy. You have to mess your hair up and look exasperated (that is me everyday anyways). I could be the lady that chops stuff with a dull knife and makes it look really hard then the knife could slip or I could strain a muscle, there are so many ways to do it. Or the one doing "old-fashion" sit ups and throw my back out. I could sell these amazing new products that will make you wonder how you have managed to live without them all these years.

Like this Meatball Magic for those of you who find it difficult to to shape a meatball. I guess they forgot to mention that instead of washing just your hands and the mixing bowl, now you will have to wash your hands, the mixing bowl and this product which I am sure does not have many tiny cracks and crevices for raw meat to stick into.



And who could forget that miraculous Flowbee. Oh the difficulty of the home haircut, getting the length right, and that mess , well Flowbee to the rescue.






Now this product is an amazing weight loss product called Aroma-Trim, apparently when you feel hungry or the urge to eat compulsively you whip out the Aroma-Trim. It is a convenient little cartridge that smells like vomit, to repulse you into not eating! Wouldn't it just be easier to come to my house for the real thing. Unfortunately it is no longer available in the US, I can't imagine why not.

I can make you believe that the way to simplify your life is by buying more stuff. I guess difficulty just comes easy to me.

A Blog About Nothing

I know I have stated in a previous post that I feel old, but I don't think that I should be having senior moments at 27. The other night I was sitting on the couch watching TV and I had an idea for a post. I thought about it for a while and kind of laid it out in my mind. Literally 60 seconds later I could not for the life of me remember what I was going to write about. I racked my brain all night and it never came back.
I was watching a news program a few weeks ago and they profiled a "new" disease called "mom-nesia". Maybe it is more of a theory, and I guess it is not new, just newly recognized. So I felt a little better about not remembering my subject.
But it is funny how I can remember every song lyric to the Freecreditreport.com commercials, but I can't remember where I put my phone or my keys, or even remember what day it is. I wish I could go into my brain like a computer and delete all the useless "files" to make room for valuable and useful information.
But back to mom-nesia, I wonder if when my kids are grown will I regain some of the braincells that have turned to pudding as a result of my children? It would be nice to think so.

Letter To The Editor

Yes, I have an editor, because although I love to write I apparently lack some finer technical skills, some things I am just not good at, for instance, I have been made aware of the fact that I do not use periods, I just use comma, after comma, after comma, resulting in terribly long run on sentences, well I sometimes I am just not sure whether or not something is a complete sentence, and so I like to err on the side of caution, and so I just put a comma in and run the risk of a long sentence instead of possibly incomplete sentences. Like this. See. I am not sure if this is okay. It doesn't look right. I know I have always had issues with this, and I am pretty sure I can blame the public school system, of which I am an unfortunate victim, and I would never blame it on my lack of educational motivation during high school, I think with time and practice I can improve this problem on my own, but until then, I will be thankful, that I have an editor because, otherwise, all my posts, would look like this!