Quotable Calvin

So here by popular demand (okay, one person made a suggestion) I have compiled some of the funniest things I have heard Calvin say. Those of you who know Calvin know that he talks NON-STOP; he even talks in his sleep. A friend of mine has a brother who the family would say he lies awake at night thinking about what to say the next day. I am quite convinced that the same is true of Calvin. I have also found that what is in his brain usually comes out of his mouth in real time, which makes for some good material. Some of these are bits of conversations. Some are just random thoughts, and others were just overheard by accident.

One day while riding in the car, Calvin had a string of random thoughts that came out one after the other, with no time for response from me in between.
"Why are some transformers bad transformers? These are nice houses, I bet they are on sale. Why do babies have to get shots some times?"

The other morning I came downstairs to see both boys playing very nicely together (which is rare), and Calvin said, "See Mom how nice we are playing together? Your punishments are really working, but your warnings don't work at all."

One random observation to Grandpa, "When kids are bad, they get a spankings from their parents. When grown-ups are naughty they get spanked by God."

A lunch time conversation between Calvin and a friend Paul-
Calvin: "I love olives."
Paul: "I don't like olives."
Calvin: "Do you know why you don't like olives? Because you haven't tried them. If you tried them, you would like them."

Making up a random song: "Today O day O day, today is the day we're gonna see God, in the military of the Lord."

Calvin calls the sunlight that comes through the window "sun puddles". Zach thinks that is poetic brilliance.

He was playing and said he was the "Sheriff-in-law".

Playing with two toys, making them talk to each other:
Toy 1: "Is this heaven?"
Toy 2: "No, this is Craig's Creek!"

Today Zach was saying how taking care of children takes years off your life. Calvin commented, "Well, Mom takes care of us so she is getting ooooold."

So much comes out of Calvin's mouth almost 24 hours a day, the hardest part is remembering it, especially when you're ooooold and your memory is failing like mine!