Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Where have I been?

I know It has been a while since I have posted. Things have been just slightly overwhelming the last few weeks. Calvin started school last week. Of course, he loves it. I on the other hand am having a hard time dealing with it. It is difficult on so many levels. I am getting more used to it though. Things are better this week. The first week my plan was to just keep really busy. So, I kind of drowned myself in activities. By Thursday, I was really regretting that tactic. I was then not only overwhelmed emotionally, but physically as well. So, I decided this week to slow it down, a lot! You might think as much as Calvin talks, he would have a lot to say about his days at school. Well, contrary to logic, trying to get any information out of him is nearly impossible. So far, all I know is that he wants to marry the girl who sits across from him, because he is in love with her. Anytime I ask about what he learned, he is suddenly at a loss for words. First he tried to tell me that his teacher did not even try to teach anything. I said if that were the case I would have to call her and ask why she was not teaching anything. So, then he said she did teach things, but he just could not remember them. I have heard that this non-communication is pretty typical, I just never expected it from Calvin.
Corban on the other hand. Well, he cries every morning when we drop Calvin off. He says he wants to go too. I do not buy that for a second. He does not understand that it would mean having to leave mom, while also entrusting himself to the care of people who are not mom. And in Corban's world, that would be panic inducing. If I so much as make a move towards my shoes he starts to hyperventilate and convulse. That is really not an exaggeration. I will say though, that since Calvin has started school Corban is a different kid, at least while his brother is gone. He is so quiet and mellow you would hardly believe it. But he really does miss him. He gets all excited when it is time to go pick him up. Which is strange given the way they treat each other the second they are reunited.
It will be interesting to see how things continue to develop as the year goes on. Hopefully it won't take that long for us to all get used to all these changes.

1 comment:

Leonora said...

So begins a lifetime of letting go...
It's one of mother's most important jobs, being able to let go. Yet it is also one of the most difficult. It sounds like you have a positive approach, Sophie. Keep interested in their lives apart from yours, keep talking about their days and share about yours. I have always told myself that I am not handing them over to the school system, a boyfriend, a job, etc. I am handing them over to God.Each time I have to let go, I hand them to God. What peace this brings!