Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Cry Me A River

I have come to realise that I am a cry baby! For a long time I have passed it off as just having overactive tear glands or something like that, but I think I just have to come to terms with it. I was reading a book the other day and I kind of sniffled my way through the first few chapters. By the 4th or 5th chapter I had to put the book down because I was literally sobbing. I felt like such a dork. I had to leave the room because the kids were looking at me like I was crazy; Corban even started to get a little freaked out. I had to make a trip to the grocery store after that so I wore my big sunglasses all through Kroger. I got some interesting looks.
But, if it was just this one book I wouldn't be so worried. It is everything these days. For the past year or so, Calvin and I have been reading through the Chronicles Of Narnia series. This is my 3rd time reading through them. Sure enough, each time in the Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe when Aslan dies, I cry. So, there I am trying to read it out loud to Calvin, trying to hold myself together; it's pathetic. There are also parts in each of the other books that give me trouble(generally having to do with Aslan). In my own defense, it is a very moving allegory! My problem really doesn't stop at books, though. There are many movies, even TV shows that cause the water to turn on. There are the human interest stories in the "news", and that really sad phone company commercial (okay, that one was a joke). I even cry when I laugh. I always have. It does not make sense. Just yesterday, a couple of friends had me laughing so much I was crying.
Other than the laughing problem, I do not think I have always been this much of an emotional wreck. I am pretty sure it got worse after I had Calvin, then worse yet when I had Corban. It really doesn't make sense.
So, if you see me in Kroger sometime with bloodshot eyes and a red face, wearing sunglasses inside, it probably means I was just reading a good book.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Quotable Calvin

Yes, it is time again for another installment of quotable Calvin. There've been more than a few times in the last few weeks where he has said something that I knew would be perfect for a "Quotable Calvin". I thought to myself, "That is so funny, I won't forget it!" Lo and behold, many were forgotten. So, I've decided that I'd keep a pen and paper with me at all times to write down funny stuff (because my memory is about as sharp as a balloon). So, here are some of the ones I've written down.

Most of the things Calvin says are out of the blue, with zero context. Probably 90% of his funniest stuff is said in the car. A little while ago he asked, "How do you get a wife?" I said in disbelief, "A wife?" He replied, "Yeah, how do you get a wife, and what happens if you can't get one?" I tried to assured him that I do not think he will have any trouble getting a wife when the time comes.

Sometimes Calvin asks pretty deep questions. Once, he asked Zach why it's bad to have TOO many toys, because toys are good (right?). Zach gave him a very in depth profound answer at the end of which Calvin said, "Yeah, and did you know Spongebob can take his feet all the way off and put them on again?" It feels good to know he is paying attention. Hopefully, something will sink-in someday.

One morning, while I was changing one of Corban's very smelly diapers, Calvin asked Zach if he could have some of his deodorant. Zach gave him some, Calvin came out of the bathroom, lifted up his arms and asked, "How do I smell?" I told him he smelled like a man. He waved his hand in front of his nose and said, "Whew, and Corban smells like a grown-up!" Let me just say, if that is what a grown-up smells like, I don't want to ever be one.

I was driving the kids somewhere and was about to make a turn when Calvin said, "Watch out! Cowboys sail these waters for miles around." Later that evening I was relating the story to his Nana when he exclaimed, "I didn't want you to tell that to anyone! Oh well, just put it in your blog." This--from a four-year-old?

This afternoon, he and Zach were going somewhere when out of the blue he stated, "I'm really glad that golf carts do not have doors." I really don't know where that came from. He's never ridden in a golf cart (to the best of my knowledge).

Yesterday, he was telling me about different TV shows that his Nana lets him watch. He was telling me about a particular one (I could not understand what he said the name or story line was), but then he said, "...but that show is not apopiate, so I never watched it." I'm pretty sure he meant "appropriate".

Tonight, he was talking on the phone to his Grandpa, and I am not sure what my dad asked Calvin, but his response was, "Well, I like race cars and rifles, that sort of stuff, but the thing I do not like is shotguns. I love rifles, but I hate shotguns."
Apparently the boy has some pretty strong opinions about his firearms (of which, he has none)!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Mommy Jeopardy

Here is a fun game, I will give you an answer and you try to guess the question. It's just like Jeopardy! Are you ready?

1) Torn-up Kleenex, graham crackers, 653 toys, 4 half empty water bottles, dirty socks, a can of Campbells soup.

What are things on my van floor right now?

2) Febreeze, a vacuum, Clorox wipes, 15 plastic Kroger bags.

What are things I keep in my van (on purpose)?

3) 92 loose pennies, a diaper, a magnet shaped like the #9, a Virginia Tech ticket from the 1993 Tech vs. Miami game, a peanut, and 6 gum wrappers.

What are the things in my purse right now?

4) Money, a train, food of every kind.

What are the things I have found while changing diapers?

5) Bugs, chalk, sand, rocks, his brother.

What are things I have had to stop Corban from trying to eat?
(He has been successful though with the sand, and most likely some bugs).

6) Kobe, Poke, Mele, Cocoa.

What are dogs that Calvin pretends to be?

7) Pizza, french fries, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, eggs and bacon, ice and bread, and some fruit.

What are the only foods Corban will eat, not counting candy because candy is REALLY not a food! ?

8) The van, the van , the van , the van, the van, every room in the house.

Where are the places Calvin has thrown-up?

9) Stink bugs, a toothbrush, 63 sheets of wipes (at one time), and his hands.

What are things Corban has put in the toilet?

10) 7,635.

What is the number of times Corban has screamed today?

Friday, June 6, 2008

Truth In Advertising

Some number of months ago, I was getting ready to go somewhere. I let Calvin go downstairs and watch TV, while I was getting ready. I assumed that he was busy watching the Disney channel. When I came down about 20 minutes later he asked me, "Mommy do you want to buy the Worx GT?" To which I replied, "what?" Calvin answered, "the Worx GT, Mom. You can fold it to fit easy into the back of your car; it can go under play equipment, and you don't even have to pay any money right now!" At that point, I looked at the TV and noticed that he had been watching an infomercial for that entire time.
That was the first time I had seen him very interested in an infomercial, but certainly not the last. For some reason, he really likes watching infomercials and has asked me if I need countless other products. So, after that we started talking about how commercials are not always exactly truthful, and they usually just want to sell you a product that you don't need. He has been trying hard to be discerning when it comes to these commercials. Almost every one that he sees now (unless of course, it is for a toy or breakfast cereal, which would of course improve his quality of life immediately and without question), he asks whether they are telling the truth or not. I try to point out some of the things they show you that are misleading, like how they make ordinary tasks seem more difficult, so you think you can not live without said product.


Yesterday a commercial came on for the Buxton Organizer bag.


In the middle of the commercial Calvin said emphatically, "They are lying, you don't need that. They just want to take our money, I will NEVER let them take our money!"
I know that discernment will come more with age, but this is a start!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A Fun Trip

Well, I shouldn't say it was a fun trip. Being there was really fun, but the actual driving trip part was not so fun. It never is. The way up to Williamsburg was okay; we left right after church. I was sure that Corban would take a little nap in the car, but I should have known that thinking that always means it won't happen. So, that was the only problem on the way up. We got there and hit Busch Gardens hard! Unfortunately, that meant that we did not get back to the hotel until around 9:00pm. So, the kids did not get to bed until 9:15, but of course they woke up at 6:30 the next morning. However, we had such a good time at Busch Gardens. One of the best parts was watching the kids experience it; seeing the joy and amazement on their faces was so much fun for me. When we were there Sunday evening, I was still a little queasy from the car ride, so I decided I wanted to wait till Monday to ride the Griffon (the CRAZY big roller coaster). We got to the park a little before they opened on Monday, and Zach and I headed straight for the Griffon. We were one of the first ones in line. We rode it, and I did not want to sit in front, so we sat in the middle. It was not quite as scary as it was the first time we rode it last year. We got off and were feeling emboldened, and there was still no line, so we rode it again. This time though, we sat in the front row! It was a whole different experience sitting in the front. The Griffon takes you up (slowly) about 205 feet then dangles you there for what seems like 5 minutes, then drops you straight down. It was really fun. This video hardly does it justice, but is the best I could find.


Like I said, the kids had a great time. There was really so much for them to do. They rode all the kiddie rides a couple of times. The only problems were that it was really hot and was really sensory overload for both them. By mid-day they were having pretty massive meltdowns. So, we headed for home about 4:30pm. Calvin was talking really slowly, and his conversations were fewer and farther between then normal. I was still able to get some really good material for the next "quotable Calvin" installment. His behavior was pretty normal except that about every 15 minutes he would let a huge sob and say how he missed the hotel and wanted to live there forever. He also kept asking me if I had remembered various objects in hopes that I had forgotten something and would have to go back to the hotel, thinking maybe if we went back to the hotel we would have to stay. But we eventually got home, close to 9:30pm. The kids are still suffering the effects of being wildly off schedule for a couple of days. It is not fun, but they are starting to get better. Here are a few pictures of the kids enjoying themselves.

This is them at the start of the day ready for fun!


This is them after lunch where it started to get rough!



This is the end of the day when they were too exhausted to move

Here they are having the time of their life!