S.P.L.A.T

Let me just start this off by saying unequivocally, I HATE STINKBUGS! I am so tired of them coming into my house. We are killing roughly 10-15 per day. They have been a problem for a while now. Even as I typed these few sentences, I have gotten up to get 2 of them. While I know they are not terribly harmful to people they, still give me the creeps. Just imagining the dirt and germs they carry is enough to make me want them gone---not to mention the smell! While I have smelled fouler things in my life, it is pretty unpleasant. I have cleaned out items in my carport only to find 15-20 stinkbugs residing in the cracks---things like lawn chairs and car seats---really not fun! So, I decided to do a little research on them, during the course of which I became increasingly paranoid that they were crawling all over me!
So here are some facts about these stinky critters:

*The species we have here in the Roanoke Valley is the brown marmorated stinkbug. Introduced into the U.S from Asia, first found near Allentown, PA. Currently making their way across the states. They have conveniently left behind their natural predators. There are over 5,000 species of stinkbugs.
*They are attracted to plants, light and warmth. This is why they come into your home. They will come in through any crack in your home, around window and door frames, tiles shingles etc.
*They emit an odor as self-defense. The odor can linger on surfaces for up to 6 months. It also serves as an attractant to other stinkbugs, telling them to come and take up residence. It also can lead them back to places they have used for hibernation in the past.
*The good news:they cannot reproduce indoors.

So what do I do about them? A friend of mine came up with a brilliant idea: S.P.L.A.T. Or Stinkbug Population Limitation & Annihilation Team. So if you hate them as much as me, join me in this worthy cause. So my fellow S.P.L.A.Ters, how do we proceed in our combat? Here are some tips I found:

This should already be obvious-DO NOT squish them, they will stink. You could vacuum them up, but seriously who is going to keep their vacuum with them at the ready all day. And then have to get them out of the canister after? No thank you. Flushing seems to work, but we have gone through an unprecedented amount of tissue and toilet paper by doing that with every single bug. I have heard that a spray bottle filled with soapy water will kill them. But then you still have to pick them up with a tissue and throw away or flush them. I read one home remedy that called for crushing a pack of cigarettes, steeping the tobacco, draining several times through cheesecloth, then adding a few teaspoons of dish soap, and using that to spray them. Unless you have hundreds of them , I can't imagine going to all that trouble. One of the funner and more satisfying solutions I read was to use a can of compressed air. Turn it upside down and spray and freeze them instantly. Apparently they freeze so fast that do not have time to emit their stench. One of the more dangerous methods (which I DO NOT recommend) was using a small torch (that just seems like a bad idea).   I must admit there would be a certain level of satisfaction in it.

As far as prevention goes the only thing you can do is seal up your house like Fort Knox. Caulk and seal all cracks and around windows and doors. And if you are so inclined you can spray around those types of areas with a pesticide. In my research it has become clear that if you have a large infestation, do not use a bomb or pesticide inside. If you do, more harmful insects will be attracted to the carcasses and do much of worse damage.

Unfortunately, it looks as if these bugs are here to stay. So S.P.L.A.T.-ers unite! Kill the stinkbugs!

I've Created a Monster!

This evening in the car I was flipping the dial on the radio. I happened to come across "Ice Ice Baby", by Vanilla Ice. For nostalgia sake I could not turn it off. At the risk of personal embarassment, I will admit that I still remember EVERY word to that song. My kids, however, were thouroughly impressed with my skills, Calvin in particular. Corban was not quite sure what to make of mommy rapping. Calvin was super into it and was going on and on about how cool that song was. He continued singing "ice ice baby do do do duhduh duh", all the way home. I explained to him that that style of music is called "rap". Well, he proceded to "rap" every thought that came into his head. With somewhat amusing results. He informed me that tomorrow at school he will "see how cool my buddies are by who can do the best rap". He also asked me if was okay for him to keep rapping in his bed until he fell asleep. I told him it would be better if he waited until tomorrow to continue rapping. It is pretty funny listening to the things he tries to rhyme. Unfortunately his rapping skills are about as good as his beat-boxing skills (which also loves to do).
For those of you who may have forgotten: please enjoy "Ice Ice Baby".

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Happy Birthday Corban

Well, my little baby Corban turned three yesterday.  On Sunday evening we had a "birthday party" for him.  It was really just our family, but we called it a birthday party anyways.  Almost every day for the last three months he had been asking if it was time for his birthday party yet.  So, I felt compelled to do something for him.  He had been asking for a "Star Wars" birthday party...I know, HUGE surprise there!  So I decided that I would bake him "Star Wars" birthday cake.  What possesses me to do this kind of thing is beyond me.  I have zero cake decorating skills, but I would like to believe that I have at least a moderate level of artistic ability.  Somehow, that ought to translate to the confectionery arts. Not-so-much!  But none the less, I went for it.  It took me all day.  After I went to the store and got what I thought was everything, I got home and realized that I had no eggs.  A minor setback.  So, I packed up the kids and went back and got eggs.  I got started mixing the ingredients for my cake.  Then, I found that I did not have enough oil.  I could have cried... but I didn't!  I called my neighbor and luckily she had some she could spare.  So I finished the cake and made all the icing.  I went to turn the cake out of the pan and it cracked almost completely in half.  So, I had to change my cake plan.  I had originally planned on making an "R2D2" cake.  I know, go big or go home right?  So, I finally decided to make a cake comprised of two crossed light sabers.  Easier said than done.  Of course, the cake was a disaster.  Although, not necessarily any less of a disaster than my R2D2 cake would have been.  Fortunately for me three-year-olds are not the most discriminating demographic when it comes to cake.  As long as they get to eat it, then it is good enough for them.  Someone at church asked Corban what kind of cake he was going to have and his answer was "mine", if that tells you anything.  At least it tasted good; I guess that is all that matters.  I have pondered starting a tradition of making terribly ugly, but well intentioned birthday cakes for my kids every year.  Or at least, that's what I can claim when they come out like this last one.  I even contemplated posting a picture of it, but to be perfectly honest, I'm a little embarrassed.

All is Vanity

I really enjoy seeing vanity license plates. I even have one of my own. It can be fun when people get creative with them. I've seen some really funny ones lately, and I always want to take a picture. However, it feels slightly awkward pulling out your phone, trying to be subtle about taking a picture of someone's car. That would be a difficult one to explain if you got caught. But as many funny or clever ones there are, there are some that make think the owner of the vehicle should drive themselves to get some help. Now, I wish I had pictures for proof, but all these that follow are actual plates I've seen here in Virginia.


APSYCHO- Now, you could give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are a mental health professional, but gauging from the pick-up truck I saw this on, I highly doubt it.

POO GRL- Most likely this girl really loves Winnie the Pooh. But really the "H" on the end of the word POO would be pretty critical to that theory. Perhaps it is a mom who has a sense of humor about the number of diapers she has to change?

SPEEDR- I bet they don't get pulled over often!

CHIKNPI- I love chicken pie as much as the next guy, but you would have to really have an affection for it to take it to this kind of extreme. Or, perhaps they run a business selling chicken pies. In which case a bumper sticker would probably be more effective.

JAGRBMB- For those of you unfamiliar with a jagerbomb it is a cocktail made of Jagermeister (a German-made herbal liqueur) and Red Bull (an energy drink). If you had maybe invented this cocktail you might put it on your license plate, but I just can't fathom going around with it on your vehicle just because you find it to be an enjoyable beverage. I love many beverages, but none of them enough to make that kind of a statement.

2 2MANY- We have all seen the vanity plates that say: MOMX12 or KTSMOM, or many other statements about ones progeny. But if this means what I think it means, then that is pretty sad!
And I did see it on a van, which is historically a family vehicle.

FUDPUKR- This one could probably be interpreted in a couple different ways, but when I look at it all I see is food puker. This is pretty disturbing, so I am hoping my interpretation is wrong!
And to be totally honest I did not actually see this one; Zach and David did. I am pretty sure they didn't make it up.

H82CLN- Now, this is something I can relate to. Although I don't think I would go advertising my lack of hygiene.


Lastly, if any of these belong to you, I mean no offense. And I hope I did not misrepresent anybody. However, that being said, some of these look a little disturbing at best.

Things nobody told me

I have been thinking lately. About all the things nobody ever tells you about parenting. When you are pregnant, or have a newborn people are always giving you advice. Most of the time unsolicited. But still it is pretty constant. Some people even seem to like to scare the mothers-to-be with horrible stories of 49 hour labor and that kind of thing. People will tell you how often you will have to change poopy diapers. But i do not remember anyone telling me that in a few short years there would be times I would have to hose down my child to get the diarrhea off of his head. Nobody told me I would be standing outside in 20 degree weather cleaning vomit out of my car. Granted, most kids do not throw up as much as Calvin. Come to think of it, I have never met anyone of any age who throws up as much as Calvin! But nobody tells you this kind of stuff, like how many times a day you have to use the phrase" ____ (fill-in-the-blank) does not belong in your pants!" One might think that it would be common sense, but apparently even 5-year-olds have trouble with that. I never knew that is was possible for a person to get so incredibly dirty during the course of daily activities. I mean, I don't think my kids go rolling in the mud when I am not looking, but I would have to bathe them and change their clothes at least 5 times a day if I wanted them to stay perfectly clean. I never imagined it would be so difficult to do every day things like simply getting to the car. I thought once they could walk and do some things on their own, it would get easier. I thought once they could feed themselves, meals would be easier. I also thought that once they were potty trained, it meant that all subsequent potty would be in the toilet. And what I have learned is that it does not necessarily get easier, because with each phase you just have different challenges.

Maybe there were people telling me and I was not listening. Perhaps I just tuned it out because it did not pertain to me at the time. But the good news is: as hard as things can be, there is much joy! My kids are so fun, and they can almost always make me laugh, even when I am mad. Corban can look at me, cock his head to the side and ask, "are you angry?" And if I was angry, it just melts away.

I can't even begin to imagine what nobody is telling me about teenagers!

Blog envy

As you may have noticed, I do not update my blog very frequently. I look at my blog every day. Most days, I even think about posting. Some days I have a great idea for post, but am too lazy to do it. But I do get a little jealous of others' blogging abilities. One blogger I read, updates almost every day. I do not know how she does it. And she can take the most mundane things and make it very funny. Another one of my friends blog, has an incredible gift for extracting great spiritual truths out of every day, simple things. Another friend always has interesting creative projects, that I love to follow the progress of. One friend of mine has a blog about the incredible, life changing things he and his family are doing in a third-world country.

And then there is me! Sometimes I think I have a great idea for a post and it just does not translate when I try to write. Or sometimes, I just flat out forget what I was going to write.

I guess in times like these, what can you do but put up a fun video clip.

Incredible Pizza

I was playing with Corban this morning. He came up to me with his Incredible Hulk mask on. So naturally assuming he was playing Incredible Hulk I asked, "How are you, Incredible Hulk?" He looked at me incredulously and said, "I not redble ulk, I pizza man." So playing along I asked if I could please have some pizza. To which he replied, "I no have pizza, I have pop tarts."

I don't think I get this game! But I must admit, it is a welcome break from Star Wars. Both Calvin and Corban are entirely obsessed with Star Wars. It is the only thing they talk about. It is the only thing they play. From morning to night, it gets a little old. A few weeks ago we had been out really late. While driving home Calvin was almost asleep. He kept trying to tell me something about Star Wars. I wanted him to rest so I had to keep telling him he could tell me later. Well, the very first words out of his mouth the next morning were a continuation of what he had started the night before. So, apparently he thought about it all night. Corban is the same way, though. He will come into our room first thing in the morning listing all the Star Wars characters he knows, telling us who is a bad guy and who is a good guy. They also watch the movies constantly (which may be my fault). Calvin got the set of the first three movies for Christmas and has nearly worn them out. Every time I let them watch a movie, it is a given that they will pick Star Wars.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is a phase and it will pass. In a couple of years I might miss the sound of my boys beating each other with foam light sabers. Perhaps I might be able to use some of this information for things like trivia.  For instance, I now know that the Millennium Falcon did the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

And there are always worse things that they could be obsessed with. I might have really lost my mind by now if they had become obsessed with Barney.