Do Ducks Like Bread?

So we took our 4 year old skiing yesterday, it was a lot of fun. I woke him up and, like normal, he started talking, about anything and everything. The only time this boy is not talking he is either asleep or eating, he talks non stop. I often say there is a real-time connection between his brain and his mouth, if there is a thought in his mind it is coming out of his mouth. So he talked the whole two hour trip up. We had a good time skiing, and we were all very tired when we started the trip home. Calvin did not say a word for the first hour, he was pretty much sleeping with his eyes open. After nearly an hour of silence, he all of a sudden asks "do ducks like bread?" to which I answered that they certainly do. That question was followed by another hour of silence. I can not for the life of me figure out where that question came from, there were no ducks in sight, had not seen any ducks that day, nor any bread to speak of.
The mind of a four year old is often times mysterious.

What was I thinking?

Well, I will tell you what I was thinking "stop kids from screaming, get kids into car, buckle squirming, crying kids into car seats, keep kids appendages from being shut in car door, get kids dinner, get kids home......." I was thinking about everything except putting my grocery bags into the car! Like the fool, with apparent short term memory loss, that I am I decided to go to the grocery store just before dinner. Why I thought that would work I just don't know. So we finished our shopping, got to the car, buckled in etc. we went to McDonalds and got Happy meals, I thought we were doing well. I pulled into the driveway got out of the car, started to unbuckle the kids, where are my grocery bags? Yeah, I left them in the basket in the parking lot. So I had to go back to the store and go inside with the kids again, at least by now they were fed (Happy meal in the car, healthy) but I did not think to get a basket. They had already put back all my perishable items, so I had to carry a 30lb baby in one arm and a pile of groceries in the other all while making sure the other child did not run around tearing up the store.
But, by the grace of God, we are home the kids are fed, bathed, and happily sleeping. This is my favorite time of day.

Can't get no satisfaction

Someone I know has an addiction........to guitars. It started off innocently enough with an even trade here and there and progressed into full scale madness, where no one guitar seems to ever be right and there are constant transactions. A while back when things started to get out of hand I came to the realization that this is an actual medical condition, so I wrote an article intended for a medical journal to promote awareness of this problem. I soon found that it is not just guitars many people have this disease in different forms. I was also made aware, by a friend, of an additional disease that usually goes hand in hand. Here are the articles:

American journal of Medicine alert regarding BST
We have received information of a new disease, which may soon reach epidemic proportions. This terrible disorder is known as BST (buy sell trade). Afflicted persons are generally unaware of their problem, however if anyone you know is experiencing any of these symptoms seek help immediately. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, discontent, blurred vision (caused by prolonged exposure to computer screens), impaired financial judgment, massive amounts of debt, and angry spouses.
THERE IS NO CURE FOR BST, and treatment is limited. We have learned it can be controlled by confiscation of credit cards and/or parental blocks on computer prohibiting viewing of EBay. We have experimented with other treatments such as; talking, crying, nagging and yelling, and even reason, but those have all proven unsuccessful.
This disease mostly affects musicians, typically guitar players. We have evidence to suggest this may be contagious. Please be vigilant protect your loved ones.


Stewart Goode MD.


The Mao Clinic has just discovered that BST has now mutated into another dangerous illness doctors have dubbed BAD (Buy and Accessorize to Death). Unlike BST, this disease can affect anyone, not just guitar players, although approximately 50% of the known cases involve musicians and golfers! Whereas BST is characterized by frequent purchasing, and then trading of goods, BAD involves the purchase of a seemingly innocent item and then subsequent multiple purchases which the infected believes are now urgently necessary in order to achieve maximum enjoyment of the original purchase.

The disease can also swing into BST if the infected person begins to feel that said purchase is now obsolete and decides to sell and trade for a different/newer model. BST and BAD seem to feed off of one another and the combination is potentially devastating if purchases become larger (ie, automobiles, boats, computers etc.).

Anyone affected by BST or BAD is strongly urged to seek immediate spiritual help by reading passages relating to contentment such as Phillipians 4:11, Hebrews 13:5, 1 Timothy 6:6. To avoid contracting these diseases, people are urged to severely limit time on the Internet and access to related magazines (ie, Golf Digest, musician and equipment magazines, Tiger Direct, etc.). A daily dose of prayer and Scripture reading is also required.

Now if I could just find a way to claim this on my insurance.....

Whats in a name?

I got the idea for the name of this blog a few months ago when I was doing the dishes. My 4 year old was playing "birthday" and giving everyone "presents" he gave me a pair of shoes. Not just any shoes but a pair of high-heels, the kind I only wear on Sunday's for no more than a few hours at a time (for good reason). So, as they were a gift I dutifully put them on and continued with the dishes. After a while I started to think about the TV wives/mothers of the 50's, Donna Reed was the first name that popped into my head. I was thinking about how they were always dressed so perfectly, and their homes were always kept so nicely. When their husbands came home they had their pipe in one hand and a cocktail in the other.
I know this was only TV but I thought, maybe there is something to that. So I decided that one day I would try being Donna Reed for the day, I would wear a nice dress (with an apron of course) and high heels, and have my makeup done, and that I would chronicle the whole thing throughout the day.
Well, as fantastic of an idea as this was, I have yet to do it. I will admit that I do have a slight procrastination problem. But I still am going to do it one of these days, and if anyone ever reads this blog they will know all about it. I will do it as soon as I finish the laundry mountain, cleaning the fridge, cooking dinner........