All is Vanity

I really enjoy seeing vanity license plates. I even have one of my own. It can be fun when people get creative with them. I've seen some really funny ones lately, and I always want to take a picture. However, it feels slightly awkward pulling out your phone, trying to be subtle about taking a picture of someone's car. That would be a difficult one to explain if you got caught. But as many funny or clever ones there are, there are some that make think the owner of the vehicle should drive themselves to get some help. Now, I wish I had pictures for proof, but all these that follow are actual plates I've seen here in Virginia.


APSYCHO- Now, you could give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they are a mental health professional, but gauging from the pick-up truck I saw this on, I highly doubt it.

POO GRL- Most likely this girl really loves Winnie the Pooh. But really the "H" on the end of the word POO would be pretty critical to that theory. Perhaps it is a mom who has a sense of humor about the number of diapers she has to change?

SPEEDR- I bet they don't get pulled over often!

CHIKNPI- I love chicken pie as much as the next guy, but you would have to really have an affection for it to take it to this kind of extreme. Or, perhaps they run a business selling chicken pies. In which case a bumper sticker would probably be more effective.

JAGRBMB- For those of you unfamiliar with a jagerbomb it is a cocktail made of Jagermeister (a German-made herbal liqueur) and Red Bull (an energy drink). If you had maybe invented this cocktail you might put it on your license plate, but I just can't fathom going around with it on your vehicle just because you find it to be an enjoyable beverage. I love many beverages, but none of them enough to make that kind of a statement.

2 2MANY- We have all seen the vanity plates that say: MOMX12 or KTSMOM, or many other statements about ones progeny. But if this means what I think it means, then that is pretty sad!
And I did see it on a van, which is historically a family vehicle.

FUDPUKR- This one could probably be interpreted in a couple different ways, but when I look at it all I see is food puker. This is pretty disturbing, so I am hoping my interpretation is wrong!
And to be totally honest I did not actually see this one; Zach and David did. I am pretty sure they didn't make it up.

H82CLN- Now, this is something I can relate to. Although I don't think I would go advertising my lack of hygiene.


Lastly, if any of these belong to you, I mean no offense. And I hope I did not misrepresent anybody. However, that being said, some of these look a little disturbing at best.

Things nobody told me

I have been thinking lately. About all the things nobody ever tells you about parenting. When you are pregnant, or have a newborn people are always giving you advice. Most of the time unsolicited. But still it is pretty constant. Some people even seem to like to scare the mothers-to-be with horrible stories of 49 hour labor and that kind of thing. People will tell you how often you will have to change poopy diapers. But i do not remember anyone telling me that in a few short years there would be times I would have to hose down my child to get the diarrhea off of his head. Nobody told me I would be standing outside in 20 degree weather cleaning vomit out of my car. Granted, most kids do not throw up as much as Calvin. Come to think of it, I have never met anyone of any age who throws up as much as Calvin! But nobody tells you this kind of stuff, like how many times a day you have to use the phrase" ____ (fill-in-the-blank) does not belong in your pants!" One might think that it would be common sense, but apparently even 5-year-olds have trouble with that. I never knew that is was possible for a person to get so incredibly dirty during the course of daily activities. I mean, I don't think my kids go rolling in the mud when I am not looking, but I would have to bathe them and change their clothes at least 5 times a day if I wanted them to stay perfectly clean. I never imagined it would be so difficult to do every day things like simply getting to the car. I thought once they could walk and do some things on their own, it would get easier. I thought once they could feed themselves, meals would be easier. I also thought that once they were potty trained, it meant that all subsequent potty would be in the toilet. And what I have learned is that it does not necessarily get easier, because with each phase you just have different challenges.

Maybe there were people telling me and I was not listening. Perhaps I just tuned it out because it did not pertain to me at the time. But the good news is: as hard as things can be, there is much joy! My kids are so fun, and they can almost always make me laugh, even when I am mad. Corban can look at me, cock his head to the side and ask, "are you angry?" And if I was angry, it just melts away.

I can't even begin to imagine what nobody is telling me about teenagers!

Blog envy

As you may have noticed, I do not update my blog very frequently. I look at my blog every day. Most days, I even think about posting. Some days I have a great idea for post, but am too lazy to do it. But I do get a little jealous of others' blogging abilities. One blogger I read, updates almost every day. I do not know how she does it. And she can take the most mundane things and make it very funny. Another one of my friends blog, has an incredible gift for extracting great spiritual truths out of every day, simple things. Another friend always has interesting creative projects, that I love to follow the progress of. One friend of mine has a blog about the incredible, life changing things he and his family are doing in a third-world country.

And then there is me! Sometimes I think I have a great idea for a post and it just does not translate when I try to write. Or sometimes, I just flat out forget what I was going to write.

I guess in times like these, what can you do but put up a fun video clip.