Words Of Wisdom

Tonight's words of wisdom comes from Calvin. As I was lovingly tucking him into bed tonight he looked at me and said,"Grandparents are waaaaaay better than parents, because they let you do things that your parents won't."

Thanks for the love son!

Words Of Wisdom

Welcome to the newest feature on the Donna Reed Experiment:"Words Of Wisdom." Every week I will feature the best quote from one of my kids. I wanted to call it "Deep Thoughts", but I figured that phrase was probably copyrighted somehow (especially in this context), by Jack Handy. So, without further ado, I give you this week's "Words Of Wisdom", brought to you by Corban:
"If you waugh a wot evwey day, you will wose your waugh, wight?"

Roughly translated, "If you laugh a lot every day, you will lose your laugh, right?"

I have to type it phonetically as he says it, otherwise I think it loses some of it's charm.

Breaking All The Rules

I am a rule person, I like rules. I may not have always been that way, but I am now. Rules help one keep focused and on track and give one direction. Even more than I like rules, I like when other people follow the rules. For instance, when I see a sign at the grocery store that says "20 items or less" I will dutifully count my items and if I have more than 20, I will go to the regular check out. And yes, I admit that I will count other peoples items and if they have more than the allotted number of items; I may count them out loud. Or I may even talk out loud to myself, so the offender can hear about having 20 items or less. So, the other night as I was getting ready to check out my grocery order, I found myself faced with a dilemma. Should I wait behind the guy with 2 baskets full and 800 coupons at the only open register? Or, should I cheat and go to the express lane, even though I clearly had more than 15 items? Well, I opted for the express with my big order. Almost immediately, I felt bad as a lady came behind me holding 2 things in her hands. I thought about letting her go in front of me, but I decided not to. I did look at her apologetically though. And luckily, she did not start counting my items out loud. Technically, I actually was not breaking any rules though. I did actually have two separate orders, each containing less than 15 items. But I was the only customer buying a total of more than 15 items.

I have decided to let myself off for the technicality this time... But next time, I will suck it up and get in the regular line, so as not to cause myself any more ethical dilemmas. And maybe the next time I am behind someone in the express lane with more items than the limit, I'll be a bit more relaxed and not huff and puff behind them about the "express lane" sign... Although, I probably will still count their number of groceries out loud.

On the blog again

I've taken a break from the blog for just about a year now. I'd like to tell you that it was for some soul searching, deep meaningful reason. But alas, no. Life has just been so crazy. Warp speed! To be perfectly honest, Facebook probably had some small role in it ;-) I hardly realized a year had passed. I've not written a post, nor have I read my favorite blogs.
But for the last month or so, I've been really feeling like it's time to get back on. Blogging was something I really enjoyed, and I've missed it.

So here it is, the last year of life in a nutshell:
Calvin is six now and moved up to first grade, and is "too old" to let me hug him or hold his hand in public. Corban is four and still wants to be carried and held. I have gone from being a stay-at-home mom for 6 years, to working full-time. Life moves so fast, and yes, I know it is cliche. But really, every time I blink my eyes another month has gone by!

Hopefully, after all this time I still have some readers. Now, I need to see if my editor is still willing to help me out.

S.P.L.A.T

Let me just start this off by saying unequivocally, I HATE STINKBUGS! I am so tired of them coming into my house. We are killing roughly 10-15 per day. They have been a problem for a while now. Even as I typed these few sentences, I have gotten up to get 2 of them. While I know they are not terribly harmful to people they, still give me the creeps. Just imagining the dirt and germs they carry is enough to make me want them gone---not to mention the smell! While I have smelled fouler things in my life, it is pretty unpleasant. I have cleaned out items in my carport only to find 15-20 stinkbugs residing in the cracks---things like lawn chairs and car seats---really not fun! So, I decided to do a little research on them, during the course of which I became increasingly paranoid that they were crawling all over me!
So here are some facts about these stinky critters:

*The species we have here in the Roanoke Valley is the brown marmorated stinkbug. Introduced into the U.S from Asia, first found near Allentown, PA. Currently making their way across the states. They have conveniently left behind their natural predators. There are over 5,000 species of stinkbugs.
*They are attracted to plants, light and warmth. This is why they come into your home. They will come in through any crack in your home, around window and door frames, tiles shingles etc.
*They emit an odor as self-defense. The odor can linger on surfaces for up to 6 months. It also serves as an attractant to other stinkbugs, telling them to come and take up residence. It also can lead them back to places they have used for hibernation in the past.
*The good news:they cannot reproduce indoors.

So what do I do about them? A friend of mine came up with a brilliant idea: S.P.L.A.T. Or Stinkbug Population Limitation & Annihilation Team. So if you hate them as much as me, join me in this worthy cause. So my fellow S.P.L.A.Ters, how do we proceed in our combat? Here are some tips I found:

This should already be obvious-DO NOT squish them, they will stink. You could vacuum them up, but seriously who is going to keep their vacuum with them at the ready all day. And then have to get them out of the canister after? No thank you. Flushing seems to work, but we have gone through an unprecedented amount of tissue and toilet paper by doing that with every single bug. I have heard that a spray bottle filled with soapy water will kill them. But then you still have to pick them up with a tissue and throw away or flush them. I read one home remedy that called for crushing a pack of cigarettes, steeping the tobacco, draining several times through cheesecloth, then adding a few teaspoons of dish soap, and using that to spray them. Unless you have hundreds of them , I can't imagine going to all that trouble. One of the funner and more satisfying solutions I read was to use a can of compressed air. Turn it upside down and spray and freeze them instantly. Apparently they freeze so fast that do not have time to emit their stench. One of the more dangerous methods (which I DO NOT recommend) was using a small torch (that just seems like a bad idea).   I must admit there would be a certain level of satisfaction in it.

As far as prevention goes the only thing you can do is seal up your house like Fort Knox. Caulk and seal all cracks and around windows and doors. And if you are so inclined you can spray around those types of areas with a pesticide. In my research it has become clear that if you have a large infestation, do not use a bomb or pesticide inside. If you do, more harmful insects will be attracted to the carcasses and do much of worse damage.

Unfortunately, it looks as if these bugs are here to stay. So S.P.L.A.T.-ers unite! Kill the stinkbugs!

I've Created a Monster!

This evening in the car I was flipping the dial on the radio. I happened to come across "Ice Ice Baby", by Vanilla Ice. For nostalgia sake I could not turn it off. At the risk of personal embarassment, I will admit that I still remember EVERY word to that song. My kids, however, were thouroughly impressed with my skills, Calvin in particular. Corban was not quite sure what to make of mommy rapping. Calvin was super into it and was going on and on about how cool that song was. He continued singing "ice ice baby do do do duhduh duh", all the way home. I explained to him that that style of music is called "rap". Well, he proceded to "rap" every thought that came into his head. With somewhat amusing results. He informed me that tomorrow at school he will "see how cool my buddies are by who can do the best rap". He also asked me if was okay for him to keep rapping in his bed until he fell asleep. I told him it would be better if he waited until tomorrow to continue rapping. It is pretty funny listening to the things he tries to rhyme. Unfortunately his rapping skills are about as good as his beat-boxing skills (which also loves to do).
For those of you who may have forgotten: please enjoy "Ice Ice Baby".

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Happy Birthday Corban

Well, my little baby Corban turned three yesterday.  On Sunday evening we had a "birthday party" for him.  It was really just our family, but we called it a birthday party anyways.  Almost every day for the last three months he had been asking if it was time for his birthday party yet.  So, I felt compelled to do something for him.  He had been asking for a "Star Wars" birthday party...I know, HUGE surprise there!  So I decided that I would bake him "Star Wars" birthday cake.  What possesses me to do this kind of thing is beyond me.  I have zero cake decorating skills, but I would like to believe that I have at least a moderate level of artistic ability.  Somehow, that ought to translate to the confectionery arts. Not-so-much!  But none the less, I went for it.  It took me all day.  After I went to the store and got what I thought was everything, I got home and realized that I had no eggs.  A minor setback.  So, I packed up the kids and went back and got eggs.  I got started mixing the ingredients for my cake.  Then, I found that I did not have enough oil.  I could have cried... but I didn't!  I called my neighbor and luckily she had some she could spare.  So I finished the cake and made all the icing.  I went to turn the cake out of the pan and it cracked almost completely in half.  So, I had to change my cake plan.  I had originally planned on making an "R2D2" cake.  I know, go big or go home right?  So, I finally decided to make a cake comprised of two crossed light sabers.  Easier said than done.  Of course, the cake was a disaster.  Although, not necessarily any less of a disaster than my R2D2 cake would have been.  Fortunately for me three-year-olds are not the most discriminating demographic when it comes to cake.  As long as they get to eat it, then it is good enough for them.  Someone at church asked Corban what kind of cake he was going to have and his answer was "mine", if that tells you anything.  At least it tasted good; I guess that is all that matters.  I have pondered starting a tradition of making terribly ugly, but well intentioned birthday cakes for my kids every year.  Or at least, that's what I can claim when they come out like this last one.  I even contemplated posting a picture of it, but to be perfectly honest, I'm a little embarrassed.